Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
