I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
