cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
