Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
