I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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