mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
