But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
