I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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