So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
