you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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