Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
