My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
