Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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