if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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