Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
my shit smells like andre
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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