He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize