Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
