I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
