Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
