I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
