yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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