you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize