I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
