The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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