capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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