I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
