i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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