K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
