Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
