i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
