there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
