Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
