Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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