i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
