I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize
