I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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