I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
