I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I touched a dick in church today
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize