i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Randomize
