Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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