i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize