Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
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