well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
