@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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