On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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