The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
