and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
All the doctor said was why
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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