She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
love makes seman taste better
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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