I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
