I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
