can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize