Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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