Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
