I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize