and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
