he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
