shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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