i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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