You smell like stripper and shame
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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