Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
did i just pee glitter
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