Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
True strength comes from lack of pants
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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