I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
cat food counts as protein by the way
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize