every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
