Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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