Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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