so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
