her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize